Special thanks to Webmaster MIKEfor helping me reset the filters on my email account, thus reducing my daily spam intake from 300+ down to a manageable 60-ish.
Most of it was junk — the usual trolling for suckers interested in Canadian pharmaceuticals, Russian mail-order brides, on-line casinos, Rolex knock-offs and virus-laced software.
Found deep within the trash was this little gem from somebody calling himself “Young Ostaba”. There’s no way to know what he was trying to sell as Firefox blocked the image that had all the pertinent information.
What was left was this weird and almost lyrical jib-jab. While the non-sentences and mis-matched fragments tell no story they appear, somehow, to create meaning. Or maybe it’s the human brain trying to overlay meaning on something that has none.
Either way, it’s interesting. Best read aloud and with conviction, especially in front of some co-workers.
Subject:vampire analgesics may cause dryness of the mouth For temporary relief,
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San Franciscan Brian Wilson (no, not that one) stopped in Amsterdam on his way home from a motorcycle road trip.
“During a 73 minute period on 9/12/06 at one corner of Nieuw Markt (a nice open square in Amsterdam), I took the following 82 pictures of bicycles. Why? Because sitting there I noticed how remarkably different the whole Amsterdam bicycle scene was from my home . . . . ”
Two-Face (flipping coin in the air): “Heads — I shoot you. Tails — You have to eat this candy bar.”
Me: “C’mon HEADS!”
Below is a copy of my initial info request via the Nestle site and the same-day reply from Liz Rocklin, the nice lady from Nestle’s Corporate & Brand Affairs. Thank you, Liz!
——————————–
Nestlé USA Media Inquiry
FirstName: Bradley
LastName: Weber
Organization: JMS Labs
City: Chicago
State: Illinois
Email: bweber@juniormadscientist.com
Phone:
Deadline: May 1, 2008
Message:
Good morning,
I’m writing a short article on the Carlos V candy bar. The latest packaging bears the legend “DARK KNIGHT.” Nothing in my research indicates Carlos V was known, in his time or after, as “El Caballero Oscuro” or had any related sobriquet.
Can you please clarify the connection between Carlos V and “Dark Knight?”
Many Thanks.
Bradley Weber
From: Rocklin,Liz,GLENDALE,Corporate & Brand Affairs
To: bweber@juniormadscientist.com
Sent: Tuesday, April 29, 2008 3:21 PM
Subject: RE: Nestlé USA Media Inquiry
The name “Dark Knight” was developed to correlate with the Dark Chocolate version of Carlos V. The name Dark Knight also references Knights, which has to do with the kingdom that Carlos V oversaw.
——————————–
So, there’s the answer. I don’t buy it, but there’s the answer. Enjoy!
What’s a 16C Spanish Monarch have to do with Batman? Uhhhhh . . . .
Another new candy bar at my grocery store today: Nestle’s CARLOS V. Why every Holy Roman Emperor doesn’t have a candy bar named after him, I don’t know. Maybe they lack the same marketing engines employed by baseball players, NASCAR drivers, and other religious icons.
According to the fine people over at Candy Snob, the CARLOS V seems to be a re-release of an older confection. Why? Something to do with the packaging, perhaps????
and the zoom-shot
What’s the connection? Is there one?
Nothing I’ve read indicates Charles V was known as “El Caballero Oscuro”; his parents didn’t die in a robbery-gone-bad; nor did young Charlie develop a predilection for high-tech gadgetry and vigilante justice; all of which leaves me flummoxed how Nestle might justify tagging this candy with the ‘Dark Knight’ moniker.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. How’s the candy?
Right.
Unlike my encounter with the Big Mo’, I bought this particular ticket and took the ride. The first bite of the CARLOS V is dry and overly sweet, like Eucharist crumbles stirred in a package of Swiss Miss, but not as tasty. The second’s even worse.
At two-for-a-dollar, the CARLOS V is still a rip-off — that is unless you plan to give them to lousy neighbors or hated co-workers in the hope that bad candy will drive them the hell away from you. Then it’s a bargain.
But if you like candy and dig the chocolate/wafer combo, stick to Kit-Kats.
I’ve just finished reading Tales Of H.P. Lovecraft, a collection of the master’s shorter works selected and introduced by Joyce Carol Oates. (With some nice cover art by Mike Mignola, creator of the steampunk-tastic, Amazing Screw-On Head!)
Tales is a nice intro to Lovecraft’s mad and lonely world. The ten stories showcase what I imagine are some of the man’s best (and most accessible?) efforts, but also provide a Whitman’s Sampler of what has become known as The Cthulhu Mythos.
The central tenant of Lovecraft’s ‘pseudomythology’ is that Earth has been repeatedly invaded and populated over the eons by a series of alien races. In fact, “At The Mountains Of Madness,” hints that everything living here — plants, animals, humans — evolved from some ancient Elder Things’ experiments that were left to run wild.
So, if they (the Old Ones/Elder Things, Outer Gods, etc., etc.), are of outer space, and for as far and wide as the Enterprise ranged over the years, you’d think sometime, somewhere, Kirk & Co. would have come across these star-spawn, or at the very least, the degenerate remains of their home worlds.
I went looking for Star Trek/Cthulhu Mythos stories — authorized or fan fic — but my Interwebbular searches availed naught.
Has anyone written or found anything in this vein? If so, I humbly request your links. Please add them to the Comments section.
After months of anticipation by NASCAR and chocolate fans alike, “Dale Jr.’s Big Mo’ ” chocolate bar is now on shelves at most major food retailers nationwide.
The Big Mo’ was created specifically for NASCAR’s mega star driver through the R.M. Palmer Company. The name Big Mo’ is a play off Earnhardt Jr.’s hometown of Mooresville, N.C., and the longtime moniker used for he and his closest friends, the Dirty Mo’ Posse.
Weighing in at an impressive 2.5 ounces for only 99 cents, the king-size, quality milk chocolate bar is available with either creamy caramel or peanut butter filling. Creating the exclusive recipe of the Big Mo’ bar included numerous taste-tests by Earnhardt Jr., and was tailored to please his palate
The King Size Mo’ is made by R.M. Palmer, the company responsible for a fat lot of the chocolate goodies you’ll be shoveling into your gaping maw this Easter — right on the heels of the fat lot of chocolate goodies you shoveled in during Valentine’s day.
As one business site puts it: R.M. Palmer probably produces more chocolate bunnies than anyone in the United States.
